Immashutterbug’s Weblog

But he said to me, ” My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
-2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I came across this passage tonight while reading my bible. I know I talk, or rather write, actually I do both, about tests and failing them. And I know that this is probably going to be a stretch, but test taking is a weakness for me. As much as I study and read the material and prepare myself for a test, I always seem to do horrible. I realized tonight that I tend to talk about it so much, it could come across as boasting about failing. Who does that??? Who boasts about failing? Most people tend to boast about winning or suceeding, but no, once again I deviate from the norm and boast about failing. Yet, even with all my failings I have somehow managed to pass every class here at college so far.

Take for example last semester, with my spanish class. I worked my butt off in there. Did good on all the homeworks and in-class assignments but everytime those tests came around, I always managed to get an F or a D, minus the one time I did make a C. In fact, the homeworks and in-class assignments barely counted for anything in the class itself-all the leverage for me passing the class weighed on the tests. I know for a fact that I failed my final exam, for when I looked it up on the website that showed the final grades for last semester, a big fat F was there for spanish under the final exam grade. Yet, somehow, miraculously somehow, I managed to pass the class with a C. Now you tell me how that happened? I fail all my tests, I fail the final itself, and yet I passed the class with a C. It all comes down to grace. My grace is sufficient for you. That’s some grace right there.

All I know, is that, no matter what I do in school, I always manage to pass my classes. Yea, I might not have that 3.0 GPA like a lot of people that I know. Yea, I’m not the brightest, smartest person in the world. But ya know what? I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be so stressed about school that I forget what it is to actually breathe and rest and enjoy school. I like school. Yea, classes are boring (minus a few), and yea homework, projects, and tests suck. But overall, I like school. I look forward to coming back to college when its getting closer to the time to come back from breaks. I like having my freedom and being able to hang with my friends and do whatever I want to. I like having the responsibility, even if it does stress me out. I like being independant (to an extent-I have a ways to go before that is 100% true). Overall, I think my weakness in tests just makes me realize my strengths in other things. I don’t tend to let bad grades weigh me down. I’ve failed. I’ve learned. I’ve moved on. I’m stronger through my failings then I was without them. The phrase, That which doesn’t kill me can only make me stronger holds a ring of truth to it. When we are at our lowest points in our lives are when we tend to cling and hold on to God all the more. Its during those times that we hold onto Him and have faith in Him. Its during those low-points that we grow and become stronger not only spiritually but also mentally. Sometimes God has to break us so that He can teach us. Its then that we are all the more better for it.

So yea, I suck at test taking, but I’m not going to let that rule my life. I’m not going to let that one weakness wear me down. I’m stronger than that because I know that God has better things for me to be thinking about. What are the weaknesses in your life that God wants to turn into strengths? Why don’t we delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties? It would only make sense that we would, because we as Christians should already know that we’ll come out better and more on-fire for God because of them. Why don’t we believe whole-heartedly that when we are weak its then that we are strong?

Grace, Peace, & Strength be upon you,
-immashutterbug