I first heard this artist on the radio and the lyrics since then have resounded in my brain. So yesterday night I went and bought Sara Bareilles’ cd Little Voice only knowing the one song, and hoping that the rest are good as well. The rest are decent I guess, but still this song stands out to me for some reason. Its called Love Song. Here’s part of the song:
Blank stares at blank pages
no easy way to say this
you mean well, but you make this hard on me
I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you asked for it
’cause you need one, you see
I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you tell me it’s
make or breaking this
if you’re on your way
I’m not gonna write you to stay
if all you have is leaving I’m gonna need a better
reason to write you a love song today
I learned the hard way
that they all say things you want to hear
and my heavy heart sinks deep down under you
and your twisted words,
your help just hurts
you are not what I thought you were
hello to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
make me think that I need this too
I’m trying to let you hear me as I am
I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you asked for it
’cause you need one, you see
I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you tell me it’s
make or breaking this
if you’re on your way
I’m not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I’m gonna need a better
reason to write you a love song today
i dunno…i just for some reason really like this song. and her voice-its good. its really good. i’m actually listening to this as I type this blog…must have played this song fifty times already.
On a side note, I sang in church today-my parent’s church to be correct. It was the first time I’ve sung there in about two years. I was so nervous that during the practice I forgot a verse-I’ve never forgotten any words when singing; it was weird. But its okay, because when I sang it during the offeratory I didn’t miss it. 
Which made me glad. I sang Chris Tomlin’s new version of Amazing Grace. Such a powerful song. Mom actually asked me to sing it a week ago, I’d never heard this version before, and I surprised my dad by singing it (cuz its his favorite song). He hasn’t heard me sing on stage in 2+ years…he said he about cried. Then later on he asked mom if it had been recorded. lol. Oh my daddy. Although, mom has a good idea….wonder how much it would cost to just go to a studio and record me singing some songs for dad and uncle clyde, who hasn’t heard me sing in about 6+ years since we moved from alaska….it wouldn’t hurt to find out. All I know, is that when I sing, I want to reach the people through the words I’m convaying. That might sound weird-but its my ministry. I miss leading worship at Sheridan or RCC. Sheridan gave me the break to actually lead, I’d only done offeratory at A/G before that, but there I was leading people into worship. I know its part of whatever ministry God has given me, but i dunno….maybe one day, once I get more involved with vintage, maybe come summer, I might ask to be a part of the worship team there. There’s a difference in me singing in front of friends/in the car and singing up on stage. A VAST difference. This is going to sound strange probably, but if I’m just singing, to myself or to friends when a song comes on, it sounds horrible in my opinion. But when I’m on stage, its like something clicks and it just works. I don’t know how. I don’t know why I can’t have that powerful voice all the time, or hit those notes during practice-but it happens on stage. Its a God thing. Thats all it can be described as. That, and everytime before I ever do a music thing on stage in front of people I pray that God uses whatever comes out of my mouth for His glory and that maybe somehow it’ll reach the ears of someone who needs to hear it. Because me-i can’t sing, but if God’s in the picture, its only then that i can. And if you know me and are reading this but have yet to experience me singing just a day-to-day experience verses a church-leading worship/special, you are not going to understand what I’m talking about. There is a vast difference. I just wish that voice could last all the time. lol 
Anyways…I’m back at school. Got to go eat w. Jimmy, Sarah, and Bobby at bojangles tonite. Then came back to my place and finished more than half of my 400pg book that I bought; read it in about 2 hours (with some missed time due to laundry). It was really good and cute. The the bro called me and I went to his place to watch the guys play Rock Band & Super Smash Bros-Brawl. Poor Sarah is sick. 
It makes me sad that my future roomie is sick. But her sickness makes her kinda loopy as I later found out due to a story she told me while we made bobby walk waay ahead of us. lol. She and I are going to have some crazy fun times come summer when I move in. I can’t wait.
But sleep calls (or so I hope it does-it has avioded me lately) and then ucky gross school beckons in the morn. I’ll leave you with this verse I was reading in John the other night. It made me think just how awesome my Jesus is. I tend to not even think of all the possible acts He did while still alive besides what is in the Bible; like things that were not written down…but this verse opened my eyes and just made me be in awe. I own well over 600 books and when I read this I just stopped, stunned, and amazed.
Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.-John 21:25
-immashutterbug
